I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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