Christians are straight up FREAKS
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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