okay pat passed out under dana's car
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
