He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
