im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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