Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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