Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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