So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
