How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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