I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
