I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
