I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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