ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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