We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
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