we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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