Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Randomize
