i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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