everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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