So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
