I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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