New invention idea: vibrating tampons
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
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