your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
