I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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