Im at strip club and am horny
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
