you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
