I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
