so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
