It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
