READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
either way he was missing a nipple.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I think my moral compass just broke
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
