is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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