its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
