i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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