I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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