So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
