Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
