All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
