I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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