I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
