i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
