Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
one two three fourrrrnication!
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
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