its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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