My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
