sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
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