he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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