Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
