That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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