we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
