I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
