How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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