people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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