only if we run a train.
done.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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