Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
