Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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